Positivity on Fire

It’s Your Life; Time to Take Back Control

August 28, 2021 Jason Ramsden Episode 32
Positivity on Fire
It’s Your Life; Time to Take Back Control
Show Notes Transcript

How do you set your intentions each day? Do you rise late, rush to get ready, head out the door and jump from task, to meeting, to phone call, to kids sports, to the grocery store with never a thought about caring for yourself? Where do you find time each day for you? When do you take a moment to just breathe? What will it take for you to realize that you, and only you, have the power to say: "I am important!"

In today’s episode, host Jason Ramsden shares 10 tips on how you can mindfully take back control of your life in these crazy times. He also shares experiences from his own life on how he is working to make improvements in the hopes of inspiring others.

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Take Back Your Life in Ten Steps by Tony Schwartz (hbr.com)
Seven Ways to Feel More in Control of Your Life by Anthony Rao; Paul Napper (berkeley.edu)

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Amazon Links**
EP30: Metahuma: Unleashing Your Infinite Potential by Depak Chopra, MD.
EP19: Chatter;The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
EP11: Give and Take by Adam Grant
EP04: The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins
EP02: Find Your Why by Simon Sinek (audio version)


Each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, No, this is what's important. Ian Thomas. How do you set your intentions each day? you rise late rush to get ready, head out the door and jump from task, to meeting to phone call to kids sports to the grocery store, with never a thought about caring for yourself. Where do you find time each day for you? When you take a moment to just breathe? When you take a moment to just breathe? What will it take for you to realize that you and only you have the power to say I am important. And when you do, how will you prioritize self care? If working from home has taught us anything over the last 15 months? It is we need to find space for ourselves. So tell me, friend, when will that happen for you? Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden and I believe we can all work on leading a more positive and intentional life. And this show details my journey by sharing my learning stories and conversations with guests. If you want to lead a more intentional life, focus on being the best you possible. Please subscribe today. Now. Let's get into today's episode. Hello, positivity posse. Welcome back. I'm Jason Ramsden, your host and friend looking to help you improve what you do each and every day through stories about me and my own journey. And today we're talking about it's your life, time to take control. Now I'm brand new to working from home throughout the pandemic, at the time that the pandemic was taking place. For me at least, living in North Carolina, I was considered essential personnel. So even in March of 2020, I was at the office every day, it was at the office every day from March until June of 2021. When I left that position, working from home for me is brand new. I just started here the last couple of weeks as I'm on this entrepreneurial journey, part podcast part coach, it's an exciting time for me. But I've been struggling lately with the concept of it's my life. And it's time to take control for so long. And by long I mean 30 years, my entire career, I worked somebody else's schedule, I was working in schools, I had to be there at a certain time, I had to stay until certain time and I obviously stayed way past that because I was in it. And when you do, you've certainly got a lot of things to do each and every day to make sure that a school or a business or an organization continues to operate at an optimal level with their technology. But now I'm an entrepreneur. So I've been struggling lately with like, what is my life look like? What are my daily life look like? So how how do you start to focus on taking your life back? It's a question I've been asking myself. It's a it's a question I've been asking my own coach. And what I found in my research, it's not all that difficult when you think about it, like when you put it down into steps. And so today I'll go over 10 steps, I found that I thought were really, really positive steps to basically taking my life back. It's not difficult. But being able to commit to that very first step, being able to say yes, this is how I'm going to go about it. This is I want to make this change in my life for myself. That's the tougher part. And it doesn't matter what stage you are in your career, if you're early stage, mid stage or getting ready to retire. We all run into these situations where we find ourselves with our lives kind of getting a little bit out of control, where we no longer control them, we we no longer think about what's important to us. We think about what we need to do for other people as opposed to what we do for ourselves. Now in the opening quote, we talked about putting your hand right on your heart and saying you know what? No, this is what's important, right? What's inside of me, that's more important than anything else in the world, when you start to realize that you and you alone are the only one who's going to take care of yourself, that's going to look out for you. I'm not here to say that people in your life your spouse, your partner, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whatever it is your family, your mom, your dad, your kids, I'm not saying they don't love you, or they don't care for you, but they're not going to take care of you the way that you need to be taken care of only you can do that for yourself. And once you do that, you have to think about Okay, what are the steps to actually take my life back to make myself a priority? What does that actually look like? I found a great article in Harvard Business Review that goes back eight years this is this is a long time ago pre pandemic pre anything pre our life, changing our routines changing, working from home schooling, kids at home, whatever it may have. In, this wasn't the time, there's always going to be an occasion where something is going to change, our routine is going to change, and we need to get our life back on track. And what it really comes down to, and we'll get to the 10 steps here in a minute. But what it really comes down to is habit building ritualizing your life, turning things into routine, putting whatever may be tasks that you have into some sort of digestible content on a calendar. So that you know, you block off time, you have to block off time, if you live by your calendar, for taking the kids around town to taking them sports to knowing when to go grocery shopping, or laundry or when this project is your do, or when you have to email this customer get back to them. If you don't put the tasks that are also important to your life, on your calendar, guess what, they're not going to get done. I know I live by that rule of Asana, my calendar, it doesn't exist. Now going back to the Forbes article, what I really like about it is it takes you from this very basic, minimal levels like okay, here's the fundamentals, you can do a couple of these things. And this is just fundamentally sound, good way to take care of yourself. And then you can ramp it up to like the next level to the next higher level. And that's it goes from one to 10 love that super easy, to a little bit more difficult. And what I like about that for you, and we talked about this in other areas of our lives, is that you can chunk it, you could take a task, and just work on that a month at a time, this could be a 10 month program for you take one step at a time, we're not trying to run a marathon here, we're not trying to race to the very end. Now we're going to take this one month at a time. So let's take a look at that here. So in month one, what we're going to do is get sufficient sleep every night. It's paramount to your life. A few years ago, I committed to making sleep a priority for myself, I used to be a stay up late kind of guy, they up until one or two and then get up at 630 or seven and rush to get out the door. No, now, I'm really focused on getting seven and a half to eight hours of sleep. When I get up in the morning, I generally get up before my alarm clock goes off. Shortly before it does, I spend a few minutes kind of getting myself going for the day. But because I prioritize sleep in my life, it has left me feeling more physically energized. I feel that I have a better mindset about life, I find that my mind is clear. It's ready to go to work when I want to go to work. I'm not rushing to get there. I'm taking my time in the morning for me. And it's because I'm getting a good night's sleep. Number two in the list, not a shocker, you have to move more. I myself recently committed Now, going back to step one to sleep down pat, I've been doing that for a couple years now. So that's your month one, get that done in month one, month two, focus on moving more. And for me, I've done that recently, I've committed to walking an hour every single day. And I know that sounds like an inordinate amount of time to put towards exercise. But you can find the time, if I can find the time I don't have any more hours in the day than you have in the day. So if I can find a time in the morning to walk for an hour, and still find time to make breakfast for my beautiful bride to be able to take the dog for a walk, get out to organize the day and still get showered change and be in the office by nine o'clock. And I know if you're if you're in a school setting, that's not going to work for you. Or if you have a different sort of lifestyle that you do shift work, it's not going to work for you. Find What does, but find the time to move more. If you just find 30 minutes to walk and that's where I started 30 minutes, four times a week, where you're moving your body, you're gonna start to see results, and then ramp it up to 45 minutes, then ramp it up to an hour. You'll find the time because you realize that it makes you feel better eating engages your mind. You have clarity, you have the opportunity to think deeply about things while you're walking. And so step two, move more. Now step three or month three, try to eat less but more often. I must say that again. Eat less more often. And you may have been the path going into dieting or trying different formats. Trust me, I've done it all. I've done paleo. I've done Atkins. I've done Weight Watchers, you name it. I've tried it. Well, okay, maybe not all of them haven't tried keto. I haven't tried the Mediterranean style, but that seems super appealing to me because of fish and vegetables but Because I've started to focus more on that now in my day, I'm trying to eat six times a day, but smaller meals, keeping track of the types of foods I'm eating, trying to eat more whole food, less processed foods, I'm starting to find that my internal furnaces like being fed all day long, and it actually feels good, smaller amounts of food more often throughout the day than trying to just have three big meals a month for number four, however, you want to take it, renew more, renew more. And what that means is if you had to go back into Paleolithic times, and talk to a gay person, they would tell you, they're not working continuously non stop all day, every day. They're taking time to hunt and gather, they're taking time to rest. They had to rest, right, they had to rest because they were constantly on the move, so that the dinosaurs didn't know where to find them because they were their food. So you need to renew more. And what that means is that, take a break every 90 minutes, do it for five minutes, do it for 10 minutes, whatever it may be. And if you can't wait that long, do it every hour, okay, at if you start a project at the top of the hour, when you get to the 15 minute mark, break for 10 minutes, take that time to do some deep breaths, perhaps get up from your desk, walk around the office, walk around the building, walk around the campus, wherever you happen to be, walk around your yard, take time to renew deep breaths, and refocus. Number five or month five, invest in those you love. Give the pandemic has taught us anything spending time together is a good thing. It's also trying I understand that. But when we get out of the pandemic, when we're back in our routines, I suggest perhaps that you don't go back to normal. Take some time to really invest in those that you love. Take the time to be a better listener, take the time to listen more than you speak. Be mindful when you're engaged in conversations with others. be fully present, be physically present, be mentally present. Don't be distracted, when you're talking to people that you love. Take it in, you will find and trust me, I've started to do this myself, you will find that your family members, those who are in your life that you love those meaningful friends, when you actually put the distractions away and focus and talk to them. Things open up you learn things about them that you may have never learned. The conversation is more robust. It's deeper. Number five, invest in those you love. month six, number six, whatever order you want to take it in, and these can go in any order. You don't have to go one to 10 something piques your interest here, in the next couple of ones or the ones that were before whatever you feel like is the one that you're going to tackle go after it. But just spend a month focus on that. Don't try to do them all. But number six, give thanks, give thanks. We often text people, thoughts, comments all the time, right? That's it's quick and easy to text somebody and let them know. And this is something that I need to work on better myself is that I'm good about reaching out to people that I haven't kept up with a while with a text message to check in, or a phone call to check in. But what I need to work on and I suggest you do the same is go back to handwritten notes, write some money, a note of appreciation, tell them why they matter in your life, why they're important to you and why you're grateful for them being in your life. So number six, give thanks. Number seven, do the most important thing. First. Some people call this eat the frog. Because nobody wants to eat frogs. If you spend your morning where you're typically the most clear have the most clarity have the most energy are most productive. Now, not everybody fits into this category. But most people do. Start your workday without interruptions. A clear 60 to 90 minutes on whatever it is it's your most challenging task. If you don't know what your most challenging task is, and you're staring at a list of to Do's, then you need to start planning your day. Look at the top three things that you need to get done that day. And then at the very beginning of the day, tackle the one that's the hardest, the one that's most difficult the one that's going to give you the most headache, because it's hard to do, but tackle it in the morning when you have the most energy if you leave it to the end of the day. If you have three tasks that you're gonna complete in a day, and you leave the hardest one for the end of the day. It's going to get pushed till the next day and the next day and the next day until you eat the frog. So number seven do the most important thing first, Number eight, practice reflection. So recently, I've been on a little bit of a journey to find the perfect agenda, the perfect daily, weekly, monthly planner. And I haven't quite found it yet. I love pen and paper, I also love technology, I'm looking for something that can blend the two together. But I do need to make sure that whatever I sign up for whenever I decide to go with has a space in it where I can practice reflection. Right now I do a daily gratitude journal. I've been doing that for the last six months or so I need to get back to it To tell you the truth, because I've stopped doing it when we moved and he got caught up, but I'm starting to get back into it. But it allows me to practice reflection at the end of day for what I'm grateful for. But I also need to start practicing, reflecting on what went well that day. What was a win, or something I need to improve on. What's something that I need to start doing what something I need to stop doing. If you take time, at the end of every workday, or in the evening, whatever works best for you 10 1530 minutes, at the end of the day to go through. Okay, what were your highest priorities? What did you get done? Did it feel like you accomplished much? And then what are you going to do the next day? What are the top three things you're going to accomplish next day and reflect on what went well, and what you're looking to improve upon tomorrow. So number eight, practice reflection. Number nine, keep learning. I'm a big proponent of being a lifelong learner. My parents are great examples of this. They're 83 and 81. They're constantly doing and learning new things. You know, 83 years old, my dad is still managing his stock portfolio, he's still reviewing company information, he's still looking at it every single day. It's just amazing to me. And so number nine, keep learning. And the reason that you want to keep learning couple of reasons. But in my mind, the reason that you want to keep learning is a keeps your brain active keeps your brain functioning. As soon as we stop using our our brain, it starts to diminish function. So the more that we can do, the more that we can learn, the more that we can challenge ourselves throughout our entire life, the better off we'll be reading books, listening to audio books, listening to podcasts, anything that you can do to build a daily practice around learning anything, a new language, a sport, an instrument, how to write code, fix a car, draw, fix a leaky toilet, how to change the oil in your car, whatever it may be, the concept of continual learning, the concept of being a lifelong learner will allow you to take back control of your life. So if there's something that you're interested in, is there something that you want to do or change up, start reading about it, start focusing on that, and I guarantee that you'll find yourself feeling better about the types of things that you're doing in your life. And finally, number 10. Give back, give back, take time, every week, if you can, if not, every other week, once a month, whatever it may be, take time to add value to the world at large go out and do something for somebody else. Go out and experience the world through their eyes, give back to them, treat them in the coffee shop, whatever it might be volunteer at a soup kitchen, help the homeless volunteer at a hospital, well, maybe not now in COVID. But once we're out of COVID, do something that regularly gives back to the community. And I'm not just talking about give back, write a check. I'm talking about give back and be kind give back make a difference in other people's lives. Give back so that they can see you doing good, and so that you can see the smile that you're going to put on somebody else's face. So number 10, give back. Now I know I threw a lot at you today, there were 10 different steps. They can be broken down into 10 months, 10 weeks, 10 days, I don't recommend that break them down in a month. find one that works for you. of the 10 You don't have to do them in order you can jump around. But what they went from easier to more difficult, because we got to find time in our lives to do these things. But just remember, get sufficient sleep every night. Move more, eat less more often. Renu more, invest in those you love. Give thanks. Do the most important thing. First, practice reflection, keep learning and give back. I don't know about you, but I'm energized by this particular topic. It's something that I need to continually look at each and every day in my life. How am I living up to these 10 steps, these 10 ways to take back my life to take more control of my life. It's going to be something that I'm focused on, you're probably going to hear about individual steps I'm taking across these categories and other podcasts. If there's anything that you think could be added to the list, hit me up at Jason at positivity on fire, calm. If there's something that you're really interested in working on, you want to tell me about it. Again, email me, let me know I'd love to hear from you. The more that we stay together, the better off we'll be. I fully believe that we're stronger together than apart. And in closing, thank you for being here today. Your gift of time listening to this show does mean the world to me I say it at the end of every show, but it is so important. You have 20 minutes of time that you give to me. And that's precious to me. And I thank you for being here. And as always remember, be well be happy, be you and until the next time may your quest for positivity begin today. For more on my positivity quest, follow me at underscore j y Ramsden on Instagram tik tok and Twitter. If you like today's episode, please give us a five star rating and review on your favorite podcast app or visit JC comm and search for positivity on fire. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC All rights reserved.