Positivity on Fire

Building Happiness In Your Life

August 07, 2021 Jason Ramsden Episode 29
Positivity on Fire
Building Happiness In Your Life
Show Notes Transcript

How do you build happiness in your life? What are the basic tenets of positive psychology and how can you use them to make an impact on your life? Using PERMA (Positive Emotion, Engagement, Positive Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment/Achievement) we can make permanent change in our lives.

In today’s episode, host Jason Ramsden dives into the basic tenets of positive psychology and shares self-coaching questions you can use when you run into limiting beliefs and road blocs with your emotions, in your relationships, and as you search for meaning in your life.

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What Are the Building Blocks of a Good Life? by Samantha Boardman, M.D. (psychologytoday.com)
PERMA: The five building blocks of wellbeing by Sam Weston (mypossibleself.com)
The Building Blocks of Happiness by Jane S. Anderson
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by Martin Seligman, Ph.d.

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Calm App; Calm is the #1 app for sleep and meditation. Join the millions experiencing better sleep, lower stress, and less anxiety. (Apple, Android)

Amazon Links**
The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins
Find Your Why by Simon Sinek (audio version)


Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden and I believe we can all work on leading a more positive and intentional life. And this show details my journey by sharing my learning stories and conversations with guests. If you want to lead a more intentional life, focus on being the best you possible. Please subscribe today. Now, let's get into today's episode. Yeah, low positivity posse. This is Jay, I am super excited to be back with you. After taking the month of July off in hiatus. So many amazing things have gone on in my life. And I can't wait to tell you about it. We're going to talk a little bit today about building happiness in your life. Before we get to that, here's what's new. So as you know, took a hiatus because we were moving to Massachusetts, it's been a great move or all settled in things are going fantastic. And loving the new area loving the lack of humidity here in the northeast as compared compared to North Carolina, certainly missing lots of folks from back home, but also meeting lots of great new people as well. One thing I'm excited to share with you is that during the transition time, from the last episode in June, until today, is that I've formed a new company called impact one media. Now impact one media was founded based on my philosophy that if you impact one person, or you impact 1 million people, there is no difference. Impact is impact. And that's huge for me, got a lot of great things coming up in addition to this podcast, but now this podcast is brought to you by impact one medium, that's an exciting new adventure for me, the coaching arm of that called the rosemary James group. So if you're in need of any sort of leadership or mindset coaching, life coaching, we've got that brand and hold on coming out. Hopefully in time for Christmas. We'll have a merchandise arm as well. So I'm excited to share that with you. Lots of amazing things have happened in this last 30 days. And it's all has to do with building happiness in your life. So let's get into that right now. What are the blocks to building happiness? Do you know? Do you have any idea? I'm sure you do. But it wasn't until I went through my coaching program from the cabin student with Valerie Burton. Some of you may know Valerie, also, my Coach Kim dobro is part of that Lyford kit. Lots of amazing people are in that program, teaching coaches how to be coaches. But one of the things it's all based upon positive psychology, and one of the tenants of positive psychology is perma. And what perma is perma was something that Dr. Martin Seligman came up with. And it was in his book flourish, a visionary new understanding of happiness and well being. And in the book, what he talks about is like, here's the theory that holds five elements to building a good life here. Okay, so here's your happiness blocks for you. And I'm excited about this, because I think it speaks volumes, about how we can change our mindset, how we can kind of get ourselves moving in the right direction and getting ourselves back on track. For me, I was on a hiatus for the month of June, I'm sorry for the month of July. And I'm coming back. I'm refreshed and renewed. I'm happier than I've ever been. Because there are new opportunities in front of me. There's new opportunities that I never could have imagined just six months or a year ago. So what's perma? perma is the P is positive emotion. The E is engagement. The R is positive relationships, the M is meaning, and the A is accomplishment, or achievement. Now there's a couple of different ways that we can think about what this means. So from positive emotion, you can also think about as positive thinking, are you grateful for the things in your life? Are you optimistic? Do you have optimism in your life? What about self awareness? Are you curious about the world around you? Are you in awe of things that happen? And do you have hope for the future? positive emotion engagement? Let's talk about engagement for a second. Are you engaged in a particular situation? Are you focused on yourself? Right? So just think about this for a moment when you when you lose a sense of self when you lose your sense of self. And we experience a lack of confidence. If we get back engaged into a task or a project or something that gives us joy. Then we concentrate on that and we concentrated on intensely because we're in the moment we're being present so engagement are so that was positive relationships. We know this humans are social beings. All of us are we like to be connected to others. Now some people are extroverted, like myself. Some people are introverted. Like my wife, there's ambiverts, who can are introverts who can ramp up and be extroverts, they need to kind of ramp down and go back into introversion, as well. We love to be connected to one another. So do you have strong social connections in your life that's really linked to good physical and mental health. It's important protection against stressors in our life. So positive relationships and social connectedness, am meaning. Meaning comes from something that's bigger than ourselves, like, what's the meaning of your life? But more importantly, what's your WHY? So we've talked about this on other episodes of the show, Simon Sinek, start with why but also find your why I really encourage you to go out there and find your why like, what is your purpose? What gives you a sense of purpose? What's your calling in life? What is it that you see yourself doing? Finally, we'll get into all these a little bit more in depth. Finally, five accomplishment or achievement. So mastering a skill, that could be anything, it could be learning a new recipe, it could only be learning to juggle, good learning to sail, it could be learning to read, it could be whatever it is that you want to achieve your life. If you achieve a goal, you have a goal that you work towards. The goal itself is rewarding, not necessarily outcome, but the fact that you reached a goal and made it to the end. Now what I really like about the word perma, it's the very first part of permanent. And so if you want to make a permanent change in your life, focused on happiness, building happiness into your life, think about perma. And what I'd like to do for a little bit in this episode is just share with you some tactics that you can self coach yourself on. Alright, lots of people go to coaches, because they're trying to work through something or trying to get over the hump, or the hurdle or something that's holding them back. There's limiting beliefs in their life. But you can also on a day to day basis, Coach yourself, some people use affirmations when they wake up in the morning, other people put post it notes all around the house, to remind them of things. There's also lots of really good questions that you can use in each of these categories. So under number one, positive emotion P. Yes, you have positive emotions, you also have negative emotions. And we always say if you have negative emotions, that's okay. That's part of life as well. You can't be positive all the time. Just don't stay down to alarm, get yourself back up. A great question that you can ask yourself, if you're having negative emotions, to kind of get yourself back towards the positive is, what might be a more helpful way to look at this situation. So rather than saying, you know what, this stinks, this sucks, this isn't any good? Is there a different way to reframe the question? And that fits right into being optimistic? Now, you could also ask yourself, what are you most grateful for today? And say it that way? What are you most grateful for today? Look in the mirror and say that to yourself? Over and over again? What are you grateful for today and why? That's a reflection tool. It's a great way to to emote positive emotion. Another way to self coach yourself here, ask yourself, what good Do you want to come of this? Or what good? Do you want to come from this? And then finally, what are you telling yourself in the heat of the moment? is it helping you? Or is it harming you? Great, great questions. Ask yourself to emote some positive emotion? How do we get ourselves more engaged? What are some ways that we can self coach ourselves there? Ask yourself, what brings you joy? What is it about life? What is it about the situation that brings you joy and makes you feel better? If you're feeling down? Go to what brings you joy? Another one? So if you're if you go off and do the thing that you love so much? What does it feel like to experience that? In the moment? What do you need to savor today? Is it that walk alone? Is it reaching out to a friend? Is it going for ice cream? Whatever it is, what is it that you're engaged in that brings you joy and allows you to savor the moment? Remember, this is all part of self care as well. But engagement is important part of the perma, permanent process to building happiness in your life. positive relationships, how we all need those, especially now, in this day and age, we see a lot going on in the world. positive relationships are a way to be connected to each other. But if you're struggling with having positive relationships in your life, what are some questions that you can self coach you're on? So here's one, what areas do you need more social support in connection? And how can you obtain it? How connected Do you feel to your community? Do you get involved? Do you know your neighbors? Are you out and about? Is there anything that you feel particularly good about being connected and living in the community that you're Having it? And finally, in what ways could you enhance? or improve your most valuable relationships? We all have people who are champions in our life? How can you improve those relationships? Now, everybody says, focus on your strengths, and hire for your weaknesses, but you're not going to hire to have somebody when you have a bad relationship with somebody. But if you have a fantastic relationship, whether that's with your spouse, or with a partner, or with a good friend, whoever it may be, how do you make it even better? What could you do to make it better, one of the things I like to do is to reach out to people via text and just let them know I'm thinking about them. And then sometimes on Saturday is just calling them out of the blue to check in. And you wouldn't believe the connectedness that that brings you back to, especially if you haven't spoken to that person in a while. So positive relationships, let's go out there and make those happen. Heading on to the M for meaning. Some ways to self coach yourself here is ask yourself, How am I giving to others? What am I doing in my life? to give back a couple of episodes ago here, we talked about kindness, unexpected kindness, I really believe that unexpected kindness can heal. just random small acts of kindness can help. So how are you bringing meaning to your life? Is it buying coffee for somebody in a coffee shop that you don't know? Is it letting somebody go in front of you in line? How are you bringing meaning into your life, you could volunteer for a cause? You can think about belonging to something bigger than yourself, what is the meaning in your life? And how are you making the connections to make it happen. And finally, back to a accomplishments and achievements. If you know anything about me, you know that I really believe that you can't achieve anything in life, or accomplish things in life without setting goals. If you're struggling to find accomplishment in your life, or to make achievements or make forward progress, set some goals for yourself. But then ask yourself, What is your most important personal goal right now? What could that be? Is it getting out in the morning to exercise? Is it being reconnected to people you haven't spoken to in a while volunteering, whatever it may be? What is your goal? And how are you going to reach it? And I think another powerful question here to ask yourself, if you're getting into the realm of self coaching, is, why is that goal so meaningful to you? Remember, oftentimes, goals that we set are connected to values that we have. Anytime you set your goal, say you say to yourself, what is the value in it for me? And I'm not saying hey, it's got to be a gain for yourself that you have to win? Or accomplish? because other people will see you do it? No? What are you value? What are your goals to get there? And how do you make it happen? And this kind of goes back to what is your life purpose? And I think a better way to think of this is not necessarily saying what is your life purpose, but saying, How are other people's lives better? Because you came across them in your life? Because you're part of their life? Have you ever asked anybody that question? Have you ever asked anyone? How is your life different? Because we're friends? What is it about our friendship that you value? What is it about our connectedness that is different than other friends that you have. And don't ask it from a point of view that you're trying to like dig in here, you do want to dig in, but you want to know the value that you bring to somebody else. So and ask once you find your purpose in life, once you know your why, ask your friends, if your purpose and your why is why they're friends with you. Does that make sense? It should because people gravitate to you for the exact same reason that you have purpose and meaning in life. connectedness is all about surrounding yourselves with people who make you better, and with people who understand why it is that you exist and what you bring to this world. Now I know I threw a ton at you. In this session today. I threw at you perma, which again is positive emotion, engagement, positive relationship, meaning and achievement or accomplishment. perma is the permanent way that you can build happiness in your life. What I'd like for you to do today is focus on one of these areas. Doesn't matter what it is. It could be the positive emotion it could be meaning it could be about looking for more positive relationships in your life. It could be about engaging In the things that you're doing, or it could be setting goals and trying to accomplish something, no matter what it is, do me a favor and pick one. Pick one of these topics. And I'd love to connect with you on what it is that you're doing. So shoot me an email over to Jason at positivity on fire.com. And let me know what you're working on. I can tell you right now myself, I'm working on em, meaning the reason that I founded impact one media, it's the reason that I'm here on this podcast every Saturday, bringing you the best positive mindset content that I can, sharing with how I'm struggling with things, sharing how I'm improving my life, in the hopes that I can bring meaning to your life as well. Now, if you want to keep up with what I'm doing, in how I'm building, meaning in my life, you want to stay connected more regularly. Subscribe to our email newsletter, head over to bit.li slash impact one media dash subscribe Again, that's bit.li slash impact one media dash subscribe. This will allow you to stay connected to me to stay connected to what I'm trying to accomplish in this world. It'll allow you to have a little bit more insight into what I do. I share a weekly newsletter that goes out on Saturday mornings, full of positivity, affirmations, challenges, opportunities, Recaps of podcast episodes you may have missed. It's just a really good way to stay connected with myself and what I'm doing. And I look forward to connecting you because I really, truly believe that if I can impact one person or if I can impact 1 million people there is no difference. And you being part of this journey with me means the world to me. The fact that you give up time listening to this show is such an incredible return to me. It's a gift that I cannot even express. So thank you. Thank you so much for being here. And as always, please remember, be well be happy, be you and until next time, may your quest for positivity begin today. For more on my positivity quest follow me at underscore j y Ramsden on Instagram tik tok on Twitter. If you like today's episode, please give us a five star rating and review on your favorite podcast app or visit pod chaser.com and search for positivity on fire. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC All rights reserved.