Positivity on Fire

Opening the Door to Vulnerability

June 19, 2021 Jason Ramsden Episode 26
Positivity on Fire
Opening the Door to Vulnerability
Show Notes Transcript

Vulnerability -- definitely a word that makes people cringe with fear. And yet, vulnerability is the single most important way for you to grow as a person.

In today’s episode, host Jason Ramsden shares insights on what he needs to do to be more vulnerable and how that might help you be more vulnerable in your own life. 

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Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better by Dan Schawbel (forbes.com)
How to Embrace Vulnerability As Your Greatest Strength by Tony Fahkry (medium.com)

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EP04: The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins
Find Your Why by Simon Sinek (audio version)


Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden, and I believe we can all work on leading a more positive and intentional life. And this show details my journey by sharing my learning stories and conversations with guests. If you want to lead a more intentional life, focus on being the best you possible, please subscribe today. Now, let's get into today's episode. Well, hello, my positivity posse coach Jay here with another episode of positivity on fire. I'm excited to be here with you today and appreciate the time that you give to this show. Today we're talking about opening the door to vulnerability. And we'll start today's show with a quote from Rene brown that says if we want greater clarity in our purpose, or deeper and more meaningful lives, vulnerability is the path. And while that is certainly true, first, we have to have the courage to open the door to being vulnerable, so that we can be on the right path. If you're a Rene brown fan, you know the power of her work, if you have not known about Dr. Bernie Browns work, just do a quick Google search, check her out. She does lots of amazing things with vulnerability. But one of the things she says is that the difficult thing with vulnerability is that would be the first thing that I would look for in you. And of course, the last thing that I'm willing to show you, though, in you, it's courage and daring, but in me, it's a weakness. And that's how many people see being vulnerable. But in order to kind of put ourselves on a better path to having a greater life, to have a more fulfilled life, we have to open the door to vulnerability. And to be honest, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it's not. And yet many of us are afraid to show it we're afraid to open the door to vulnerability. But once you do that, once you open the door to being vulnerable, it can be your greatest strength. And as you know, when I share topics for the show, it's often because it's something that I'm thinking about myself. And as a super private person, I have not been as vulnerable as I could have been or should have been throughout my adult life. But it is something that I'm working on. And that's that's what we're going to be talking about a little bit today. So today's show is released on June 19. That's today's episode number 26. And it is being released while I'm wrapping up a trip a seven day trip through the waters of Alaska. So if I'm going to talk about being vulnerable, not a bad place to start, is spending seven days in the last great frontier to experience what the world around us really has to offer. What does untouched land look like? What does the power of nature have that it can show me how to be vulnerable. And I look forward to sharing some of that when I returned from the trip, because I feel like I'm going to have a lot of great lessons about life from this trip. But the reason I'm talking about vulnerability today is that when this trip wraps up, we are just a few short days from moving from North Carolina, to Massachusetts, and I mentioned this before on this show, my wife is taking on an amazing new position as a leader of an organization, and I'm wrapping up 30 years in education. And now I'm on this new journey, new journey to start a media company to see it grow, to offer coaching, to obviously continue this podcast to offer insights, all in an effort to help others get better. What I'm realizing as part of my own journey, is that I can't help others improve their lives, unless I'm willing to improve my own. And being more vulnerable with what I share. And how I got to be where I am in my life is I have to be willing and able to let down my guard to commit to my personal growth and to share that journey with you. And that's that's one of the reasons I started this show. And I hope over time you've seen that growth. And I hope that it's helped you in some way. And I think the very first step about opening the door to vulnerability is to start to consider your pain points in life. And what I mean by that is not only recognize them, but look at them as a way to build upon yourself. Don't look at the pain and struggle you may have gone through your life as something that you need to close out and something that you need to put behind you. Some of the people that I know that have made the greatest strides in life have used experiences in their past life to make an incredible future for themselves. They're leveraging what they have learned by their pain. They have leveraging it by being vulnerable. They're leveraging it by Sharing in a way that not only helps them but helps those around them as well. So the question that I'll most likely fall back on while on my trip, and in preparation for returning and moving is going to be focusing a lot on when was the last time I really, truly allowed myself to be seen to be seen for who I am, to be seen for what I believe in to be seen for what I'm working on in my life. And I'm going to encourage you to do the same thing, I got it, it's frightening. There's probably a lot of anxiety around revealing your true self to others, to pulling off the mask, if you will, to show people how you really are what you really think. And in reality, being vulnerable is truly a form of courage and growth. Nothing more. being vulnerable, is a form of courage and growth. And as a coach, I see this firsthand in my clients as I work with them. They have to feel comfortable enough to work with me to be vulnerable about what they're trying to fix or make better than their lives, but they also have to be vulnerable about their strengths and what they're willing to leverage to move forward. Now you may be thinking to yourself, oh, vulnerability is a choice. It's something I have to choose to do or not to do. And I agree with that to a certain extent. But I also believe, especially now, especially as things are opening up, and we're coming out of the pandemic, I really believe that being vulnerable is going to be a key part of everyone's reality. Moving forward, we spent a lot of time inside and secluded from others, and not sharing our experiences, not letting people into how we dealt with the pandemic, how we dealt with remote work, how we dealt with teaching kids in, in helping kids learn from home, how we dealt with our lives during lockdown, I think will will be a detriment to society if we don't open up about our experiences and share what it meant to be faced with some uncertainty in our lives. And I think as well being being vulnerable has a lot to do with having really good relationships in our lives if we can't trust others, to have knowledge about our hopes, our fears, our dreams, if we can't open up to others, it makes it really difficult to move forward to go after those dreams to focus on those hopes to alleviate those fears. Because we can't live life alone, it's just not possible. We need others around us that believe that being vulnerable, is courageous, and that they in turn can be vulnerable with us. So what are some ways that you can show up as being vulnerable? Well, there are certain key phrases that you can use to show that you're being vulnerable. I don't know, when asked with a question you can say I don't know. You can also say I made a mistake, or I'm sorry for causing you this pain. Or I'm scared. I am struggling with this right now. I'm not sure where to turn next for help. All of these are signs of someone being vulnerable. And when we have the capacity to do that, and we're not judged for it, like we don't get judged for sharing our vulnerabilities, then we grow stronger. So as we're talking about opening the door to vulnerability, one of the things that we can do is just start to share phrases that allow people to know that we're being vulnerable without telling everything that may be going on. But we're we're opening the door to being vulnerable. We're using those key phrases to open the door to a conversation that may allow us to be more vulnerable today or tomorrow or next week, depending on the response of the person that you're sharing with. Now, the key to unlocking the door to be more vulnerable, is you have to be honest with yourself. You can't say to yourself, that you know what, I'm good the way that I am that you can't admit to yourself that you can be better yet that you say to yourself that you know I'm not going to learn from my mistakes or I'm not going to knowledge making my any mistakes in my life. The truth is we all make mistakes. We All don't do things well. And the more readily that we can share those with others, that we can point to something that we didn't do well, that we can be honest with ourselves, and truly look inside of ourselves to have an understanding of what it means to admit a mistake in what it means to realize that you know what i can be honest with myself, I can share things with others, and not get hurt by it. vulnerability is tough, there's no doubt about that. But once you find the courage to open the door to vulnerability, you'll start to gain the confidence in yourself, that will allow you to move down the path of being vulnerable more regularly. And here's something I read recently from Adam Grant. He said, You know what vulnerability is not the opposite of resilience, no, rather, vulnerability builds resilience. So when you reveal your struggles, you when you show your humility and your humanity, you're opening the door to new sources of support and strength, you're opening the door to being vulnerable. So one of the things that I'll be examining in future episodes, is pivoting. I'm starting a new career, I'm launching a company. And so I'm going to have to be vulnerable, in how I go about my work. In order for me to be a better coach, in order for me to be someone who really truly believes in impacting one or impacting 1 million, there is no difference in that, that I am going to have to open up and be honest with who I am and how I operate. In order to be better for you. That's my ultimate goal is to help you be better, which means I have to help myself be better. So some of the topics I'll be considering while I'm on my trip, and bringing back to you, his shortcomings as a human shortcomings. As a leader, I spent lots of time leading people in organizations, and I'm going to reflect on what I did well, what I didn't do well, what I should have done better, in order to share those thoughts with you, so that you can glean some insights and hopefully apply them to your your own life as well. And it won't be easy. You know, I've said before, I'm a super private person, and being vulnerable is going to be a very difficult task for me. And I understand in order to grow, in order to continue to grow in order to continue to get better, I'm going to have to share those insights with you. Because in reality, I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, there's no such thing as a perfect human being. So I'm going to have to embrace those vulnerabilities for the benefit of both of us. So what are some things I'm going to do in order to open myself to being vulnerable? First, I'm going to accept that I'm, I'm worthy, I'm going to accept that I'm worthy of being someone who can contribute to this world, someone who can provide insights is someone who can help others grow up going to realize that yes, I'm worthy of that task that I can make it happen. I'm going to start to think about the things that maybe perhaps that I'm not good at that maybe I'm a little squeamish or skittish about tackling, and finding people who can back me up in those doing the research to determine, hey, here's something that I'm not good at, I need help in this area. I'm also gonna work on cutting out the negative chatter, that I'm going to stop myself when I start to doubt myself. And I'm also going to consider what would it be like, if, for instance, I'm not successful in any of these new endeavors, I'm gonna have to trust that I can deal with the outcome of my work, no matter what happens, no matter how it progresses, whether it's successful or not successful, that I'm able to deal with the outcome. When I have down days, I'm going to have to share what's wrong and how that's not working with others. I'm not going to keep it inside, I'll share it here. I'll share it with other people in my life, I'm going to commit to being more vulnerable, to help you and to help me. And I have to remember and you should remember as well, that being vulnerable, doesn't mean that you're giving away any power to anybody else. You're actually empowering yourself. You're empowering yourself to be a more exquisite human being because of your vulnerability, not in light of your vulnerability. And I think Finally, that being vulnerable means that you can only move forward from here that you can only go up From hear that you have the capability to make change in your life, to share with others to show a side of you that you've never shown before, which will allow you to become stronger, better for yourself, for others, and ultimately, for the world around you. And so as we wrap up today's episode, while I'm traveling and thinking about ways that I'm going to be vulnerable in the future, I would appreciate it if you thought about ways that you can be vulnerable as well. And if you have the courage to share, do so drop me a line at Jason at positivity on fire, calm, let's connect, let's talk about the things that you may be vulnerable about. Let's see if I can help in any way shape or form. And let's go on this journey to being vulnerable together. It's not an easy task. But if you're up for it, I'd love to hear from you. Well, thank you once again for being a part of this show. Thank you. For those of you who are loyal and constant listeners, I super appreciate all the time that you spend with me I say it every single time that I close out the show is that your gift of time listening to this show means the world to me, there's no greater gift than the time that you can give to somebody else. And just remember the well be happy, be you and until the next time, may your quest for positivity begin today. If you like today's episode, please go to pod chaser.com search for positivity on fire and leave a five star rating and review. For more on my positivity quest. Follow me at positively underscore j on Instagram or Tiktok or engaged with the show by visiting direct dot means slash Jason Ramsden. Have an amazing day.