Do you struggle with change in your life? Do you want to start a new habit but just do not know how to get started? Are you afraid to fail? Daily habits have many benefits and getting started is easier than you think. If you want to know why Habitudes are life give today’s episode a listen.
In this episode of Positivity on Fire, host Jason Ramsden dives into the idea of habitudes, how to start small to create change in your life, and shares some tips for making lasting change that not only benefits you, but the people around you as well.
7 Habits to Change Your Life Forever by Joshua Becker (becomingminimalist.com)
How to Build Healthy Habits by Tara Parker-Pope (nytimes.com)
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EP11: Give and Take by Adam Grant
EP04: The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins
EP02: Find Your Why by Simon Sinek (audio version)
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Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden, and I believe we can all work on leading a more positive and intentional life. And this show details my journey by sharing my learning stories and conversations with guests. If you want to lead a more intentional life, focus on being the best you possible. Please subscribe today. Now, let's get into today's episode. Well, good morning, good afternoon. Good evening. Whether you're just waking up just going to bed or someplace in between today, we are diving into the idea of habitudes. What what exactly is that? You say? Well, habitudes is the concept of creating an attitude about how to change for bettering yourself, your life, and for everyone with whom you come into contact on a daily basis. Now, I had no idea whatsoever that the word habitude has been around since the 14th century. But that's what I discovered in doing a little bit of research on this topic. And this has been around that long, there must be something to the idea of creating a habitude, which is a habitual disposition or mode of behavior, or procedure, which sounds kind of boring when you put it in the context of a definition. Thank you, Merriam Webster. But for me, habitude is an attitude around generating good habits by which you lead your life. And if you google habitudes, or daily habits, or how do I get better at creating daily habits, you will be overwhelmed with the amount of information that's out there on the internet. I was but I found a couple that I felt like resonated a little bit with me. And I'm going to share those with you today. And we'll get into a little bit about the types of things I'm doing in my life to create a habit of gratitude for the things that have in my life and the way that I go about living my life each day. And before we really start diving in, I'll share a quote, one of my favorite quotes actually comes from john Maxwell. And if you don't know who john Maxwell is, you know, he is a author, speaker, Pastor, he's written tons of books, mostly focused on leadership, and personal growth, in what he says is that you'll never change your life. Until you change something you do daily. The secret of success is found in your daily routine. And I was happy to find that that quote was the start of an article that my mom recently sent me. Yes, my mom who's 81 still cuts out articles from the paper, and sends them along to me. And then this one, she says, You know, I read this and thought it is exactly what you're doing. And I appreciate that Mom, I'm gonna share it with the folks on the show today. And the article was entitled old daily habits to change your life forever. The article was written by Joshua Becker. He's an author, a public speaker, and the founder and editor of becoming minimalist. And you can catch him over on becoming minimalists.com. And I share this article today, because I'm in constant search for ways to better myself things that I can do to make small changes to my daily life, or my daily routine, my daily habits, that will have a huge impact, not only on me, but the people around me. I think when you start to dive into daily habits or making changes in your life, first you got to start small. We've talked about that before in other episodes, but whenever you make changes in your life, you have to do it slowly. It's not like you're gonna say to yourself, I'm gonna put on my sneakers, my trainers, and head out the door and run a marathon today, no one's gonna do that. If you've never run or you're not in shape, you're not going to head out the door and do 26 straight miles, it's just not possible. And the same is true for creating habits in your life that are going to be long lasting. So now what does Joshua Becker say in this article about habits, he offers seven, and some of them I thought were pretty interesting. And his number one habit to go after is to create a three item to do list each day, which I thought was fascinating. How often do we go and create Long, long list of all the tasks that we have to do each and every day, and it becomes overwhelming. But Joshua Becker says, you know, if you create a three item to do list, then every morning, you write down the three most important tasks that you need to complete that day. And then at the end of the day, provided that you actually complete those three tasks, you feel super accomplished. Wouldn't that be amazing? If you said today, these are the three things I have to accomplish and you do them and you do that every single day of every day of your life. How good would you feel how accomplished would you feel? number two on his list was exercise. And it has taken me I don't know 50 plus years of living to realize that exercise daily is a good thing. And that I don't have to consider that daily exercise being running five miles or getting to the gym and doing an hour and a half of workout. tread, lifting weights. It setter, exercise is just about getting up and moving. That could be taking a walk, it could be just stretching, it could be taking your dog for a walk, be going for a bike ride, it could be going for a short run, it could be doing 20 minutes of yoga, the most important part about daily exercise is actually just moving your body. And the benefits. Yes, if you put in the time at the gym, and you lift weights as you can, you can get buff and big and cut. But the idea of daily exercise and just daily movement, the benefits are more than just physical. If you're doing just walking, yes, you're not going to get to be in this incredible shade if you're just walking, but you will have other benefits, you will be moving, which is always a good thing. But you also have mental and emotional benefits from physical exercise, it gets the blood pumping, it helps clear your mind it provides a sense of focus, or a daily activity each day to keep you moving forward. Number three on his list was turn off the television. Now I know some people will say well, we love to be able to binge watch shows, it's our go to time, it's it's how we connect, watching shows together. And truth be told my wife and I love a good Netflix binge, or, you know, other shows along those lines. But the point that Josh Becker makes here about turning off the television is that if you do that, in the evening, you may find other avenues of joy that you get to spend your time with whether that's writing, journaling, reading, playing board games, you can find other things to fill that time at night and still have the connection that you want to have with your spouse or your partner or your family and your kids. I will say though, it'll be kind of hard for my wife. And I had to give up. Ted last Oh, just a side note, if you haven't seen that show, over on Apple TV, give it a look, it is probably the most positive and well done show on television, and is currently by far my favorite show. Number four on the list, practice gratitude. If you can't be thankful with what you have in your life, then you're going to have a real struggle with being happy with your life. And being grateful has a lot to do with knowing that what you have in your life is what you're meant to have in your life at this moment in time. And whether that's a little a lot, being connected to people not being connected to people, whatever it may be, if you're grateful that you get to get up each day that you get to breathe, walk around this planet, interact with others, and lead a good life, then you need to be grateful for it at the end of each day. In doing that, through journaling through practice of journaling. Makes perfect sense. I've started to do this myself over the last couple of months. And what I'm finding is that there are things in my life I am grateful for every single day. And some of those things have to be things I'm grateful for about myself. So not only what I have in this world, but also what I bring to this world. And that's what gratitude is all about. And when you share that with yourself, the more you realize that you actually have a really good life. Number five on the list, write something anything. That could be the gratitude journal, it could be a quick post on Instagram, it could be a longer private journal, it could be a post on Facebook. But as long as you take the time to write and reflect each day, there's something powerful about that. It's something that I think you'll find if you don't do it, make this the number one habit that you start to do start to do some journaling and writing every single day. There's something about accessing the creative side of your mind, to reflect on the day to reflect on a particular topic or reading that you may have done. And in all honesty, I think if you spend that time getting your thoughts down on paper, it actually will help us think better. It'll help us have more clarity in our life. It also helped us I think interact better with the world around us. Because we're starting to open our mind to the possibilities of what's out there. Number six on the list, reset your kitchen. This is big for me. I'm not a big fan of having dirty dishes in the in the kitchen at night. I have to have it clean set reset, because I'm first one up in the morning, instead of before. I'm an early riser. I'm up at five. And when I get up in the morning, I want the kitchen to be ready and primed for me to do my daily routine. There's nothing worse than getting up in the morning and having to reset your kitchen and cleaning before you get to start your daily routine. So reset your kitchen, put everything away, get it squared away, put the dishes away, make sure there's nothing in the sink, make sure everything's wiped down and clean and ready to go. You'd no sooner want to eat at a breakfast place that when you walk in there still having to clean up all the dishes from the dinner rush the night before. That wouldn't feel good. It wouldn't put you in a good mindset. And I encourage you to try and do the same thing for yourself at home. And finally number seven on Joshua Becker's list is eat together. There's something powerful, about communing with friends communing with family having a meal, I can think of so many shared meals and experiences that I've had with friends and family throughout my life, that have had just a huge impact. Now I know we're still in COVID. And people can't have a chance to get out and do that right now. But as the vaccine moves out, as people become a little bit more free to move and, and gather with friends, then I encourage you to really, when you're sitting down to a meal, with friends with family, really make great use of that time. In Episode 10 of the show, we talked about the art of conversation post pandemic. So I would encourage you to be thoughtful when you're gathering with friends, when you're having a meal, turn off the electronics, be really mindful and purposeful about how you're going to go about your life, I can think of here in our house, we always host a huge, huge Thanksgiving meal, we've had anywhere from 35 to 45. people join us for Thanksgiving, and that's family, it's friends, it's called workers from work, who don't have a place to go, my wife and I believe that gathering people together on that day is super important. And when you have that many gathered around your table, partaking of food that you've cooked, that they've brought, there is something magical about that communal time, you learn about other people's lives, you learn about what's going on with them, you have a chance to break bread. And do that, do it on a small scale, do it on a big scale. Whatever makes sense for you. The bonding experiences we have when we break bread together is something that you can never recreate in other situations in your life. So how do we make this work? I know, you're probably saying yourself, Jay, how can I possibly create new habits in my life, it's so difficult to put change in motion in my life, I have so many other things going on. I've got family life, work, kids, priorities in making small changes, is just not something I can get to. I've got some tips and tricks for you. We'll discuss here in a minute. Hold on tight. Stick around. And we'll be right back. Welcome back, we're talking about the benefits of trading a habitude in your life. In this part of the show, we're going to dive into how do you actually go about that? Yes, I get it changes hard. There are challenges involved in change. There are hurdles, you have to get over. People say it's a mindset, they have to come up with the focus or the willpower. But change is actually simple. And I say that I don't mean to say it in a Cavalier way, where I'm have made changes, and I stick to them. Now there's plenty things I've tried to change in my life. And I've worked hard at it, and it's gone by the wayside. And there's other things I've put into practice and change in my life, and they have been game changers. For me. Now, what I'm talking about is that if you follow some simple rules for making change stick, then you'll have a better chance of being successful. So what are those? First and foremost, you have to start small, you can't go big right out of the gate. So by starting small, let's say you had the idea that you wanted to do push ups every day. If you decided that that was a goal for you, you wanted to reach X amount of push ups in a certain amount of time, start small, maybe for the first week or two weeks, you're only doing two pushups a day. And when you start to do that, then you build upon it. The other thing you want to do, when you're starting off doing these small habit changes is tie it to another habit. So maybe when it pertains to the pushups, maybe you're walking to the kitchen, and before you start making breakfast, you drop down, you do your two push ups. You do that every day for a week. And the next thing you know you're doing three push ups, then five push ups, then seven push ups 10 2030, whatever it may be, if you tie it to another habit that you do every single day and you start small, before you know it that becomes ingrained as part of your day. Then you may be wondering how long does it take for a habit to stick? Or the research says give or take 66 days? And you may be wondering where did you find that stat? Well, that comes out of the European Journal of social psychology. And in that study, they said that habit to become automatic range anywhere from 18 days to 254 days. So the median was 66 days. Two months. Can you do a task a small task, go back to the push ups Can you do two push ups a day for 66 straight days, you put it in context like that, and two push ups doesn't sound like a whole lot. It's not like I'm asking you to do 25 push ups a day for 25 days, no, two push ups a day for 66 days. And the truth is, over time you're going to, you're going to increase the amount. What else can you do make habit stick, make it easy. Don't put obstacles in your way, make it super easy for you to make that change in your life. So what does this mean? removing obstacles make things simpler, easy. Let's say you wanted to go about walking every morning, perhaps then you're sleeping in the clothes that you're going to walk in the next morning, I get it, it may be cold outside and need to put on an extra layer, great, pull out the extra layer and put it in the bathroom with your sneakers. So that you have them out, you don't have to think about it. There's no mental activity involved. You've slept in the clothes, you're gonna walk in, you've put on the warmer clothes, and your sneakers and you're out the door limit, limit the amount of time it takes and the thought process that takes basically, you're making it easy for yourself to make that change, something that you're going to do every single day. Okay, so now you've started, you're down the path, you're headed towards that median of 66 days, you're continuing to push through, you've made it easy for yourself to do the change, you have made it part of your daily habit, you want to keep it going, what do you have to do next? Clearly, you have to reward yourself, right reward is a big part of our lives. From the time that we're kids, the time that we're adults, rewarding ourselves for doing a good job as part of our lives as part of how we grew up. Now you have to figure out what those rewards are for you. Right intrinsically, you know, what will make you happy, what is a good reward for you, whether it's listening to a good audio book, your favorite album, walking with a friend, whatever it may be, whatever you can do to tie in your daily habits with some sort of reward, you will find that over time, you'll look forward to doing that activity, the change will become permanent. And you've now created a habitude in your life, an attitude about making a habit that is better improves the type of person that you are. And if you want to think of it in its simplest terms, creating new habits really breaks down to four distinct things. You have a cue, you have a craving, you have a response, and you have a reward. So what's the cue? That's what your brain uses to trigger the behavior. And if you don't do it in the first five seconds, then you're going to be in trouble. So if you know that you're thinking, Hey, this is a new behavior, I got to get it done, get rolling with it. What are the cravings? Well, that's the motivational part, I'm going to go for a while because I've realized that it makes me feel better. What is the response, that's the walking, or the walking is the response of that part of the process. And then we just talked about it, the reward, the reward is what you decide, it'll be at the end. And if you want to put it into even more simple terms, use this phrase, get up, get out, get moving, move forward. Again, get up, get out, get moving, move forward. And if you think of it in those stages, any type of change that you want to put into play into your life is actually simple. Now, I'm not saying that all change is simple. I'm not I know many people have tried and failed, I have tried and failed, you will try and fail. But don't give up. That's the most important part. If you're looking to make a change in your life, don't give up, go after it. Give it your best, and stay with it. And if you need extra encouragement, connect with me, you can reach me at Jason at positivity on fire calm, I'm more than happy to be your personal support your cheerleader, the one who's going to push you forward and push you on I'd love to connect with you. I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself. You've got this you can make changes in your life. You just need somebody behind you. And in all honesty, that person is you. And with any change, you have to feel it in your heart before your mind will believe it. So go after it. Make that small change in your life today. Get on the path of self improvement. Be that better person not only for yourself but the people around you. And actually go crush it today. I know you will. So in closing today's show, I just want to thank you for being here. I say it yes every single episode because the gift of time you give listening to this show does mean the world to me. I'm so grateful for those of you who are followers of this of the show positivity on fire, and I just want to remind you, be well be happy, be you and until the next time may your quest for positivity begin today. If you liked today's episode, please go to pod chaser.com. Search for positivity on fire and leave a five star rating and review. For more on my positivity quest. Follow me at positively underscore Jay on Instagram or Tiktok or engage with the show by visiting direct dot means slash Jason Ramsden. Have an amazing day.