Positivity on Fire

Fear, Doubt & Failure

March 13, 2021 Jason Ramsden Episode 12
Positivity on Fire
Fear, Doubt & Failure
Show Notes Transcript

Are you letting fear and doubt create failure in your life? Is doubt keeping you from reaching your dreams and full potential? Are you facing road blocks in your life because you are afraid to fail? If so, then today’s episode is for you.

In this episode of Positivity on Fire, host Jason Ramsden takes a look at how fear and doubt in his own life are keeping him from moving forward with his dreams while also offering some tips to ensure that failure is not the end result of chasing your dreams.

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Article Links
The Best Way to Immobilize Fear And Self-Doubt by Cheryl Wood (forbes.com)
How to Overcome Debilitating Self-Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Failure by Ayodeji Awosika (medium.com)
Overcoming Fear of Failure by Mind Tools Content Team (mindtools.com)

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EP11:
Give and Take by Adam Grant
EP04:
The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins
EP02:
Find Your Why by Simon Sinek (audio version)

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Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden and I believe we can all work on leading a more positive and intentional life. And this show details my journey by sharing my learning stories and conversations with guests. If you want to lead a more intentional life, focus on being the best you possible. Please subscribe today. Now, let's get into today's episode. Are you letting fear and doubt create failure in your life? Is doubt keeping you from reaching your dreams and full potential? Are you facing roadblocks in your life? Because you're afraid to fail? If so, then Today's episode is for you. Ready? Let's go. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good night, wherever you happen to be tuning in from welcome. And thank you. I'm your host Jason Ramsden. And I'm looking forward to a good conversation with you today about doubt. Before we get into that, though, I just want to say thank you, to those of you who are my regular and loyal listeners, I appreciate you so much. This show will only grow and get bigger and reach more people. If you will take the time to share with your friends, your family, and others wherever you may be. Please spread the word about positivity on fire so that we can continue to spread the word about how we can change our mindsets and become better people. Thank you for doing that. And if you take the time, I appreciate it greatly. And today we're talking about doubt. And if I were to look at the numbers purely from this podcast, and some social media, I should probably be filled with doubt, filled with doubt around this endeavor ever taking off with the impact of my social media, ever really impacting the audience that I needed to impact doubt happens to creep into our lives when we least expect it. And when it is least wanted. And unfortunately, doubt has crushed more dreams than failure ever has. I say that again, doubt has crushed more dreams than failure ever has. And I'm sharing with you that particular phrase because I'm feeling it myself right now. It is March of 2021, we're starting to come out of that pandemic, we're starting to emerge, people are struggling to get vaccinated, I'm starting a new phase of my life, and a little bit unsure about how that's going to go in launching both this podcast, social media efforts to spread positivity and kindness as well as getting ready to launch my coaching practice. And recently, doubt has kind of creeped into my head. And I've shared that with my own coach, and has perhaps process that a little bit. And I want to take a little bit of time to talk about that here today. And I think to that doubt, is probably another way to look at fear in our lives. And there are two types of fear. There is the fear for our well being, which I think is rooted deep inside of us from long, long time ago when dinosaurs walked the earth. Because we don't want to be harmed in some form or fashion. That's not the type of fear I'm talking about. And definitely not the type of doubt that I'm having. It's more about the fear of things not going well, the fear that stands in our way of moving forward with our lives or setting up ourselves to have strong goals and to believe in ourselves. And whether you're like me, starting your own business, starting a new chapter in your life, starting school, taking a certification, starting a new job, whatever it is that you may be going through, I'm sure that doubt has crept into your mind as well. Because it's part of human nature. And whatever it is, you're starting new and have that doubt, you have thoughts, can I do it? Will I be successful? If I'm not successful? What will people think of me? Will people still support my endeavors? Will I be able to pivot and do something differently is what I am about to embark on, going to be worth the sacrifice that I have to put in to reach my goals. And that in and of itself, I think is the showstopper for many, many people from not pursuing their dreams for not pursuing their goals. That one line of doubt is this going to be worth the sacrifice is probably the number one killer of people's dreams. And for me in my case, and I've spoken this out loud to a few people but I haven't put it out into the universe in a big way. My dream is to become the male version of Bernie Brown. And I don't say that that I want to be Renee Brown. I don't want to to go back to school and become a professor and impact students and have studies that look at the socio sociological part of our lives. I do Want to write books, I do want to impact people what but mostly I want to make an impact on other people's lives. The way Bernie does the way that Simon Sinek does the way that Adam Grant does that others do. Because I think it's important. I think I have found my calling in that, I truly believe, impact one, impact 1 million, there is no difference. But when you have a dream that big, in a limited time frame to do it, and by limited timeframe, I mean, 15 years, where I am in my my age right now, 15 years will take me close to being 70 years old. But 15 years seems like a limited time to meet that dream. And I've got a lot of goals that I have to get through in the interim. And that's where the doubt creeps in. And I'm not sure why it does. In processing this while they're with others, I found that I get good feedback. I have positive interactions with people on social media, when I do my daily reflections on Instagram, or have posts on tik tok or share that the website that I'm preparing for my coaching practice and get feedback on that. I shouldn't be having these doubts. But I'm human. I'm taking on something new. And I have the fear of failure. And doubt is what's stopping me more than anything else. And you're probably saying to yourself, Jay, you're, you're everything you practice MP preach is about positivity. How is it possible that you can't reach your goals? Why are you how are you doubting yourself? How is this possibly coming to fruition? When what you practice and preach is all about positivity and mindset? Well, because I'm human, I'm human, just like everybody else. And I do have to shift my mindset. And it's a daily practice for me. As I've spoken about before, in other episodes, I get up every morning and meditate. And what I meditate and reflect on is changing my mindset is working towards my goals is trying to be a better person. And I am trying to conquer the fear of what may come next. And if you're joining me today, I want you to think about what that is for you. What's holding you back right now what what do you have the most doubts about in your life? Are you starting something new, and you have fears and doubts like I do, or you have you been in a position for a long time, and you want to try something new, but you don't know how to go about it. And that you doubt that you can think about that for a minute, put it down on a piece of paper, think about it, and put it aside for a moment. And I want to come back to that. But I want you to write it down so that you have it and can refer to it later. So now that you have that written down, I want to process a few things with you around what may be holding you back. There's a couple of things that I think about from time to time when when things are holding me back from moving forward. And there's just a few a few examples of that it could be it could be self sabotage. So procrastination mentioned this in another episode as well. Big procrastinator on setting my own goals. There could be excessive anxiety about what you're taking on or what something new to come. And all of that will provide failure in following through with your goals. It could certainly be low self esteem or self confidence. For me, that's that doesn't happen to be the case. For me, I am a confident person. But it doesn't mean that doubt and fear of failure creeps into my life. It does. Even confident people and even positive people have these things happen to themselves. I think for me more than anything else is, is probably the third thing that may hold people back is perfectionism. I am a recovering perfectionist, I have a real hard time with letting things out the door that aren't in my mind, perfect. Whether it's a website, whether it's this podcast, whether it's a social media post, whether it's an email written to a colleague, whether it's a thought that I may have, I don't share, and I don't push forward with things, until I feel it's perfect. And that's a downfall for me. And I'm working on that as well, trying to move through a mindset of that. And I think that's what holds me back in particular, to a certain degree that makes me then procrastinate, which is part of this big cycle of self sabotage. So what's the challenge before you and I clearly if you're listening to this episode, about fear, doubt and failure, you're probably having some of the same thoughts and issues that I am. So what are some tips and tricks that we can use to kind of get over that hump? Well, we're gonna get into that in just a second. So stick around, and we'll be right back. Welcome back. We're getting ready to talk about some tips and tricks that can help us with doubt fear and failure in A reminder, doubt does kill more dreams than failure does. And if we don't fail, we can't learn from our mistakes and move forward. So doubt is that barrier. So what are some things that we can do to overcome those? Well, first of all, I think it's important to just sit down in a quiet space. And you may be doing that now, you could do it after you listen to today's episode. But remind yourself that you are enough you are, you have the ability to achieve your dreams, no question, you are enough to do that. I struggle with this myself, I'm not really good at taking praise. I don't believe I ever do a good job. It's part of that perfectionism that comes back in into my life, from time to time, alright, more than time to time with regularity, I have to remind myself that I am good enough. And I am good at what I do, to try and face your fears instead of running from them. The more that you distance yourself, from your ultimate goals, what your destiny is supposed to be for you, the harder it will be for you to get there. And fear is that separator fear and doubt is what separates you from your dreams. So if you start to extinguish those, it'll bring your dreams and your goals little closer to reality. Next, try and embrace failure. I know that's a hard, hard task, hard topic for people to think about. Because when you fail, especially if you're going into a new business, a new job trying something new. If you fail, you fail publicly, lots of times, and people are afraid to fail publicly. But if there's anything I've learned from many years in the education field, is that when we allow our students to fail, over and over again, they learn from that, and they grow. And then they learn. And they achieve greater success. When we set high expectations for ourselves, and we don't allow us to fail or allow ourselves to fail, then that inhibits progress. Next, have to have a better mindset around your internal thoughts, what's going on in your mind? How are you talking to yourself, or you're telling yourself that you can't do it, that you're worthless that you don't have the ability to be successful? If you're doing that, you got to upgrade your mindset. And again, I said this before, doubt does come into my mind as well. And so I'm working really hard on 100 plus days of meditation, to try and refocus my mindset around being more positive on a regular basis. And finally, I think the next thing that we could possibly do is to surround ourselves with folks that are like minded. So for me, I'm going through an intensive coaching credentialing process. I have training, it's twice a week, I have a group or cohort of people that are going through that experience with me. And when I start to doubt myself, that group of people buoys me, they lift me up, because they're going through the exact same experience. They're trying something new, they're getting ready to launch a practice. They're trying to build a website, a customer base, they're trying to figure out how to coach properly. And they have other challenges in their lives that they're also dealing with. When you surround yourself with a like minded group of individuals, it becomes a community upon which you can rally, share your concerns, and ultimately, move forward. Now, I don't want you to misunderstand by following those tips and tricks. I'm not saying that the fear of failure will go away. The fear of failure is going to be inherent in our lives forever. Because it's built into our, our DNA as human beings. But I think we can use what we learn I think we can use the tips and tricks provided to lessen that experience to lessen the regularity with which we may doubt ourselves with which we may be afraid to move forward and reach our goals because we're afraid we will fail. And this is true because challenges in our lives don't disappear, they will always continue. They will arise when we least expect them. The doubt will come when we least expect it. Change will come when we least expect it. So why you can't totally erase fear in your life. You can lessen it and number one step is to get rid of how you focus on doubts in your life? I think as well, one of the one of the things that you can do to kind of help with this is just sit down, either with yourself or with somebody else who can walk you through it, and try and determine exactly what is it. Like you have to dig deep. dig really deep, what is it that I am afraid of? am I afraid that I'll make myself look like a fool for embarking on this new journey? Well, I let my family down, while I let my friends down. What is the root of fear? And where does it come from? And for me, and in this change in my life, it's I'm doing something I've never done before. Ever. I've never started a business. I've never coached people in a professional way. I've never launched a podcast, such as this one. I've never been intentional about sharing thoughts, and being more open with my life, particularly in public on social media, and sharing thoughts there. So there are lots of opportunities for me to fail, and to fail publicly and to fail miserably. But I continue to do it, I continue to put one foot in front of the other, I continue to use tools, like this podcast for self reflection, my reflection on Instagram, and my sharing of positivity on tik tok and elsewhere, because I know it's the right thing to do. And even though growth may be slow, even though I may not be getting the traction that I want, sometimes you have to think especially as you're starting something new, it's okay to go slow. To go fast. It's okay to take your time, it's okay to keep churning away at something that you believe him, I firmly believe that what I'm doing will make an impact. And even if it is just a handful of people, even if it is just the 30 plus people who tune in every week to listen to this show. If I'm making a difference in your life right now, then that's all that really matters to me. And that will be the same for you. If you're looking to make a change in your life, if you're looking to do something different. Remember, even if it impacts just one person, and that person is yourself, even if it's just yourself. Think about that. If you're making a change for the better, and you have dreams you want to achieve. If it's just impacting you, why wouldn't you go after it? Why wouldn't you make that leap into something that is bettering you as a person. And if you're unsure that you can do it, know that you have one person here that will support you. You can reach out to me at any time you go to direct.me slash Jason Ramsden, all my social media links are there, reach out, let's connect. Let's have a conversation about what's holding you back. I know that's helpful when I talk to other people about what's holding me back. And let's just be in this journey together. I think it's a wonderful space to be in. I think it's a great time to try something new. As the world comes out of pandemic, lots of people are going to be looking at life a little bit differently. And I'd love to be on that journey with you. And as I get ready to close out today's show, thank you. As always, I always say it every single show because it is important to me. Thank you for being here. Because your time your gift of time means more to me than you possibly know. And always remember be well be happy, be you and until next time, may your quest for positivity begin today. If you like today's episode, please go to pod chaser.com search for positivity on fire and leave a five star rating and review. For more on my positivity quest follow me at positively underscore Jay on Instagram or Tiktok or engage with the show by visiting direct dot mean slash Jason Ramsden. Have an amazing day.